‘You are worthless.’
‘You can’t do that!’
‘You disappoint me.’
‘You are useless!’
Why must my Mirror speak to me cruelly about my flaws and weaknesses, spewing terrible punishing words at me; breaking me down further and further every single day? Mirror says that no one cares, gets angry and then begins to cry. Our life together begins the same way each morning, at the very first glance, my Mirror,
makes me think about my troubles and flaws and this lasts throughout most of my day.
Then it starts up again, after I arrive home, when it’s just me alone with my Mirror. Every night always ends the same way. Once I’ve looked at my Mirror, whether it is as soon as I get home or right before bed, my reward is a gathering of chaotically mixed emotions that make me feel tired and pitiful, driving me in to an abyss of unhappiness. I’m amazed that I ever get any sleep. I am living a nightmare… my body is exhausted while my mind is still, oh, so wide awake.
Over the years, I felt there was some change and I was all right with that, noticing that the landscape around me and the people painted into it were changing as well. But somehow, there has been so much change – too much change – leaving me to believe I no longer control the person I am, the person I once was. And the way my Mirror emulates me time and again? I feel like that reflection from a deeper, darker side of realism is replacing the real me.
What has happened? It seemed like only yesterday that my Mirror and I were one. Now, such sad, bitter feelings have overtaken my spirit and it’s difficult to make my Mirror stop saying those hurtful things. This has become chronically discouraging and I have become severely distracted. And of course, losing sight of all the positive beliefs and values that have stood me in good stead these many years makes my heart uneasy. How can I hold dearly to positive thoughts when I can so rarely see them?
To read the rest of this article written by Story Price, download November 2018 issue.